"Broken Homes"

By Ruthe

How sad when this day happens. This particular story is dedicated to those that have experienced a broken home, not only to moms but also to dads. The three primary reasons for a home to be broken come through death, drugs, and divorce. Often it will involve children of all ages. Many times we feel pain for the mom or dad who has to go back to work, or work a second job, to give extra support to raise their little ones, without thinking how our children are feeling. The parent may not realize the tremendous loss their children are now enduring, or how confused they may be. The normal lives of these children are shattered, and they will be scarred for the rest of their lives.

Death --

I know how the death of a mother, father or another loved one can be devastating. My sister lost her husband, leaving three young children. He was an attorney for the government and his job consisted of frequent travel. He died instantly of a heart attack and his body was found in his hotel room. The news was heartbreaking to my sister, but to her little ones it became a nightmare. To this day they cannot accept it, and still have many tears, wondering why this happened to their daddy that they so loved. Again a loss that can't be explained to a child. A broken home that can't be mended. My good friend in California mentioned just this week that her daughter is still grieving over losing her father eleven years ago. She still can't understand why he had to die, leaving her without a father for the rest of her life. To think someday she'll have children who will never know their grandpa -- another broken home. It's so hard on our children, regardless of their age.

Drugs --

My age group was lucky -- smoking cigarettes and a six pack was our big thing, and we escaped the illegal drug scene. Our entertainment was very limited, usually a card party on Saturday nights at someone's home. It was always fun, poker games, and penny ante...the loser would most likely lose a quarter, if that much. We couldn't afford baby sitters so we had to take our kids, and extra beds were always available for them. As soon as they were asleep our big games would start. We didn't know about illegal drugs then, and how they could break a family apart.

Divorce --

Divorce is an ugly word. It most always involves children, and most of the time they are too young to understand. My experience with divorce started at age 35, the prime of my life (I thought at the time). Our little ones were age 9 and 7. It was hard to make them understand just what is going on, and why daddy is no longer around, with all his clothes gone. My son kept pretty quiet, but his little sister was too curious, and there were many questions that I had to answer. Our broken home came as a big surprise to many, especially my parents. They read it in the newspaper, had more questions and this time the answers had to be good. No one knew our problems, and many today still wonder what happened. My husband of 16 years and I were voted the #1 couple of our church. Also, he was sent as a delegate representing our house of prayer to several conferences. We were known as a happy couple to almost everyone, and then one day we were talking to a divorce attorney. Against my wishes, the legal papers were all signed. I was then a single working mom, and a very devastated one. My biggest concern was how I could support my two children in a broken home? Their daddy was married within two months, and after several years it ended in another divorce for him. By this time we had all adjusted well, and seldom saw him. Fortunately, I was a licensed hair dresser, and I was able to operate a small salon in our home. I was always there for my children and through my daily prayers, and our faith we made it fine without a daddy and husband. Today I'm a very proud mother, both my kids are great citizens, happily married, and between the two of them I have 6 grandchildren, and recently my first great grandchild.

A broken home usually brings unhappiness, distress and sadness, but thankfully this did not happen to our family. Having a good upbringing myself helped me to do the same with my two children, and honesty was instilled in them, along with treating others as you want to be treated. I'm a firm believer in these values. We are very close, even though my son lives across the country we are in constant contact. My daughter lives just a few minutes away -- we share many good times and there are always laughs. Their daddy passed away this fall. He died alone, and I cried for him because he never knew what great kids he had...or the fun he missed out on with his little grandchildren. My son traveled back to the midwest to take care of the arrangements, and paid his father's debts. He's to be commended -- a man he loved, but a man he did not know because his home was broken at a very young age.

Homes today are being broken more and more frequently. Families are hurting, and especially the children. They are suffering from broken hearts, that are coming from their broken homes. My heart goes out to all who must go through this. Future moms and dads, please be certain when you are taking your wedding vows that you will respect them, and don't let this happen to your children.

Today --

My son is 55 years old. He's always loved radio broadcasting -- he started in our basement with a ham station and after graduating from high school, he went to broadcasting school. Starting work at a small radio station after graduation, he quickly went straight up the ladder in the broadcasting business. He now owns 47 radio stations in the northwest US. He's also an accomplished pilot, flying since age 20, he now owns a twin engine Cessna. A broken home didn't hold him back -- he's a successful business executive, married and is father of four great sons, and he's a brand new new grandpa.

My daughter is 53 years old. She was always drawing pictures as a child, mostly of horses. After graduating from high school, I enrolled her in an art school in the Midwest Today she is a senior art director for a major textbook publisher. She was a product of a broken home, but she is very successful in her career, happily married for 33 years and is mother of two wonderful children.

As I finish, I want to thank you for reading my true story. I'm sure someone out there will relate to it. Although it's difficult, working single parents can accomplish raising a successful family alone after losing a partner. Many begin a new life with a new partner. I remained single, continued my career, and retired several years ago to beautiful Florida. I am blessed.

Truly yours,

Ruthe